I wish boundaries were simple. On paper, they sound so clear: decide what matters, protect your time, say no when you need to. But in real life, it’s not that straightforward. Each situation feels different. I get caught off guard, and in the moment, I don’t always know the right response.What has helped me is giving myself a little script to lean on when I’m put on the spot. It goes something like this:
- First, I acknowledge the request. “I’d love for you to stop by today.”
- Then, I’m honest about where I’m at. “I’m a bit overwhelmed right now.”
- And finally, I offer another option. “Can I call you next week? Hopefully things will have calmed down by then.”
It’s simple, but I’ve found it works most of the time. Memorizing this little pattern gives me something to fall back on when the ask catches me off guard.
Still, I’ve learned that boundaries aren’t rigid lines carved in stone. They’re more like gentle guides, helping me protect my energy in everyday life. And yet, there are seasons when those guides need to bend. Life has a way of tossing in the unexpected, and in those moments, the boundary I was holding onto so tightly may no longer be the priority.
Sometimes that looks like setting aside my plans to care for a sick family member. Other times, it’s stepping into a work emergency when my expertise is needed or putting everything on pause because the house springs a plumbing disaster. In those moments, showing up matters more than holding the line.
When life pulls me into those spaces, I try to give myself grace. I don’t need to keep everything else going at full speed. The basics are enough: food on the table, clean clothes, needed medications. The rest — the dusting, the endless to-dos, the small routines — can wait.
Boundaries, for me, aren’t about perfection. They’re about giving myself the space to choose, and the grace to bend when I need to.
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